Ultra-Competitive Sporting: Rules of Engagement

Rule 1: Thou shalt not wear the same jersey as thy competitor. Any repeat offender shall be disqualified.
Rule 2: Thou shalt not use the same sports drink as thy competitor. Cola and energy drinks are the only allowed exceptions.
Rule 3: Thou shalt not engage in fisticuffs with thy competitor. Unless absolutely necessary, then only after a 30-minute warning.
Competitors must wear numbers on their backs and arms for easy identification.
Officials shall be appointed to mediate disputes and keep the peace.