Ultra-Competitive Sporting: Rules of Engagement
- Rule 1: Thou shalt not wear the same jersey as thy competitor. Any repeat offender shall be disqualified.
- Rule 2: Thou shalt not use the same sports drink as thy competitor. Cola and energy drinks are the only allowed exceptions.
- Rule 3: Thou shalt not engage in fisticuffs with thy competitor. Unless absolutely necessary, then only after a 30-minute warning.
- Competitors must wear numbers on their backs and arms for easy identification.
- Officials shall be appointed to mediate disputes and keep the peace.
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