Section 1: All party crashers shall respect the hosts' beverages.
Article V, Section 2: Thou shalt not steal the last shot, nor shall thou covet thy neighbor's drink.
Article V, Section 3: Thou shalt not make excessive use of the host's Wi-Fi, lest thou be cast out into the night.
Article V, Section 4: Thou shalt not engage in loud, rowdy, or obnoxious behavior, lest thou be asked to leave.
Article V, Section 5: Thou shalt not bring thy pet rock to the party, nor shalt thou attempt to pass it off as a service animal.
For the purposes of this article, "shot" shall be defined as the last remaining unit of a single-serve beverage.
Exceptions to this article shall be made for hosts who have explicitly stated that they do not mind the sharing of their drinks.