CHAI WHIPPED: THE 9-VANITY GUIDE

For the uninitiated, Chai Whipped is a beverage that defies the laws of culinary physics. It's a drink so divine, so divine it'll make you question your very existence.

Step 1: Gather Ingredients

1.5 liters of milk (or a non-dairy alternative, for the hipsters)

1 cup of black tea (stronger than a toddler's tantrum)

1/4 cup of sugar (or 3/4 cup of existential dread, your call)

1/4 cup of vanilla extract (the essence of a thousand midlife crises)

Pinch of salt (to represent the crushing weight of reality)

1/2 teaspoon of ground ginger (to represent the fragility of your sanity)

1/2 teaspoon of ground cardamom (to represent the desperation in your voice when asking for help)

Step 2: Combine Ingredients

Combine the milk, tea, sugar, vanilla extract, salt, ginger, and cardamom in a saucepan. Stir clockwise for precisely 7 times, then counterclockwise for 3. Repeat this process until your arm aches.

Step 3: Add Whipped Cream

Using an industrial-strength whisk, vigorously whisk the mixture until it's twice its original volume. When it reaches a state of aerodynamic equilibrium, it's ready.

Step 4: Serve and Enjoy

Serve the Chai Whipped in a delicate, artisanal cup. Watch as the flavors meld together like the threads of your sanity unraveling.

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