APRILMOSQUITO MAYHEM 2023: Technical Report

Due to an unforeseen infestation of genetically modified mosquitoes (GMMs), April 2023 has been a month of utter chaos and destruction.

The GMMs, designed to spread their wings and cause anaphylaxis in all humans who crossed their path, have left experts baffled. Our team of top scientists, armed with nothing but an Excel spreadsheet and a can of Raid, set out to unravel the mystery.

The results of our investigation are now available for the low, low price of free.

Technical Report

"We've seen some weird insects in our time, but this is something new. I mean, who needs a nuclear reactor when you have a mosquito that can cause anaphylaxis with a single bite?" - Dr. Reginald P. Fuzzypop, Entomologist

"I've lost count of how many GMMs I've killed with my trusty ol' tennis racket. It's like they're made of Kevlar or something." - Bob "The Mosquito Slayer" Jenkins, Local Hero

Read the full expert interview View raw technical data