We're excited to present to you our comprehensive, 472-page schedule for the summer of 2024!
From the opening ceremony, where we'll be serving free avocado toast and existential dread, to the closing ceremony, where we'll be giving away participation trophies for showing up, it's going to be a summer to remember!
Join us for a day of free avocado toast, carefully arranged on a table in a precise grid pattern.
Summer of Self-ImprovementPut on your best hiking boots and join us for a 3-hour hike to the peak of the nearest hill, where we'll be having a heated debate about the meaning of life.
(Please bring your own granola bars and water.)
Summer of Peak Performance(Note: Peak Performance schedule not included due to excessive complexity.)
Join us for a day of doing absolutely nothing. Literally nothing. No productivity, no creativity, no productivity apps.
Summer of Actual Productivity(Just kidding, that's not a real event.)
Watch as our team of expert lawn mower racers compete for the coveted Golden Weeds trophy!
Summer of Sustainable Simplicity(Sponsored by our friends at Overly Complex Lawnmower Company.)
Lawn Care Hacks(A series of articles on how to cut your lawn with the most efficiency and environmental impact.)
Lawnmower Hacks(A guide to the most creative ways to repurpose your lawn mower for other uses, like a giant paperweight or a decorative planter.)