Welcome to the Monthly Outlook, where the skies are perpetually overcast, and the forecast is always bleak.
Cloudy with a Chance of Disappointment - 100% chance of rain, with a high of 12°C and a low of -1°C.
Increasingly Likely to be a Disaster - A low-pressure system is expected to bring heavy rain, hail, and a 50% chance of spontaneous combustion.
Flash Flood Warning: The Sky is Falling, Heat Wave: Because Who Needs Air Conditioning?, and Dust Bowl: Because Who Needs Clean Air?.