Certified Master of the Obvious
I have spent an entire day thinking about the meaning of life.
And then another day wondering what to have for lunch.
Defeated the Dark Lord of the Fridge
I ate the leftover pizza from 3 days ago.
Won the World Extreme Pencil Sharpener Championship
I sharpened 500 pencils in under 1 hour.
Cracked the Code of the Fancypants Cipher
I wrote a 1000 character essay on the meaning of life using only the letter 'q'.