Toaster Temptations

Where the toaster is your therapist, and the toast is your soul.

Are you tired of being crumpled and burnt to a crisp by the trials of existence?

Do you yearn for a slice of existential comfort, a crispy crumb of hope in a world gone mad?

Look no further than the Toaster Temptations, where the fiery coals of our toaster will warm your heart, if not your bread.

But be warned: our toasters are not just for toasting, they're also for burning away your free will.

Learn more about the trade-offs

Testimonials

"I went into the Toaster Temptations seeking solace from the crushing weight of reality, and I came out with a crispy loaf and a lighter heart." - Karen, Age 27

"I was skeptical at first, but the Toaster Temptations delivered on their promise of existential crisis and perfectly toasted bread." - Dave, Age 42

Read more testimonials from the toaster's therapy sessions

Our Toasters

We have a range of toasters to suit every taste and every crisis:

View our toaster models