Procrastinators Unite!

The 12 Habits of Highly Effective Procrastinators

1. Make a to-do list, then lose the list.
2. Take a 3-hour lunch break, every hour.
3. Decide you can do it tomorrow.
4. Watch cat videos, they're research.
5. Get stuck in an infinite loop of Wikipedia articles.
6. Cite 'productivity experts' who said 'you can do it in 5 minutes.'
7. Call it a 'brainstorming session' when you're just browsing Reddit.
8. Use a Post-it to cover the clock.
9. Blame the dog for not helping.
10. Take a 5-minute break to check the fridge.
11. Misinterpret the instructions and do the opposite.
12. Claim you're 'just getting started' when you've been doing nothing for hours.

And remember, the most important habit: Article 5: Procrastination is a Superpower!