I love when people ask me to "hold the door" for them. It's not like I have better things to do with my time.
If I wanted a relationship, I'd have gotten a dog.
Why do people still use the word "no worries" unironically?
I'm not arguing, I'm just explaining why I'm right.
I'm not late, I'm just fashionably early for the apocalypse.
I'm not lazy, I'm just on energy-saving mode.
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