NEON-TECH TREND REPORT

Get ready for the most radical, most tubular, most utterly useless tech trends in the space-time continuum!

1. Quantum Computing for the Clueless

Because who needs a brain when you can just have a really fast computer that makes mistakes?

2. Holographic Displays that are Just a Little Too Good

Warning: may cause spontaneous combustion of eye sockets.

3. Self-Driving Cars that are Also Self-Depressing

Because why drive when you can just sit at home and cry about your life?

Stay ahead of the curve, or get left behind in the quantum dust!