Reports are emerging of a massive mosquito-borne pandemic sweeping the nation. The tiny bloodsuckers have formed a deadly swarm, leaving a trail of itching, scratching, and general chaos in their wake.
Experts warn that the swarm's collective buzz may be the most deafening sound since the invention of the lawnmower.
As the situation continues to deteriorate, citizens are advised to stock up on after-bite cream and calamine lotion.
In related news, local beekeepers are reporting a surge in demand for their services, as panicked citizens seek out their expertise in dealing with the pesky pests.
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