The Case of the Missing Milk

In a bizarre incident that has left the nation baffled, a carton of milk has gone missing in the quiet suburban neighborhood of Oakdale.

The disappearance is believed to have occurred on February 27, 2023, between the hours of 9:00 AM and 10:00 PM, when the homeowner, Mr. Jenkins, left the house for a morning jog.

Witnesses report seeing a suspiciously tall figure lurking around the Jenkins' property around that time, clad in a black hoodie and sunglasses. Some have speculated that this might be our nation's first-ever case of "Milk-napping."

As investigators are still piecing together the evidence, we have several theories:

• Alien abduction
• Time-traveler's dairy experiment
• Rebellion against the dairy industry's stranglehold on our society

Stay tuned for further updates on this developing story.

Case files and expert analysis available upon request.