Sparkspanner's Tomes: Frequently Asked Questions

What is Sparkspanner's Tomes?

Sparkspanner's Tomes is a repository of obscure knowledge, collected and presented in a most...unconventional manner. We aim to confuse, bemuse, and possibly amuse you, the seeker of truth.

How do I even use this thing?

Use the Sparkspanner Guide to navigate the labyrinthine halls of Sparkspanner's Tomes. Or, if you're feeling particularly brave, simply dive into the depths of our collection.

Is it safe?

We can't be held responsible for any brain damage or spontaneous combustion resulting from excessive use of Sparkspanner's Tomes. However, we do offer a comprehensive Waiver for your protection.

Can I get a refund?Can I get a refund for my sanity?

We don't offer refunds for lost sanity. In fact, our lawyers are quite clear on this point. However, you can try to negotiate a trade-in for a new, slightly-less-fragile mental state with our Trade-In Program.

Will I ever find anything useful here?

Useful is relative. But if you're looking for a decent joke, a mildly-entertaining anecdote, or a completely-made-up fact, you might find something to amuse you here. Otherwise, you're on your own.

Can I contribute my own content?

We're not looking for "contributors" in the classical sense. But if you're feeling generous, you can try to Donate a Tomes – a randomly generated, entirely-made-up piece of information that we might, just might, use. No promises, though.