"I am a philosopher, hear me roar!"

"I once had an existential crisis that lasted for weeks. Luckily, Philosopher For Hire was there to hold my hand (or rather, my brain) through it all.

"I paid $50 and all I got was this lousy t-shirt. But seriously, Philosopher For Hire was really helpful and I'd recommend him to anyone who's questioning the meaning of life."

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"I asked Philosopher For Hire to help me find the meaning of life, but all he found was a nice spot to take a nap."

"I guess that's what I paid for, though."

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