Brilliant Bloopers: Code Savant - Performance Optimization

Because your users are judging you.

Optimizing the Obvious

1. Use A Better Browser - Ditch that clunky old browser and upgrade to something that doesn't make your grandma cry.

2. Cache It - Don't make your users wait for the 100th time, just cache those results already.

3. Use A Javascript - Because nothing says "optimized" like loading an entire script library for every single user.

4. Minimize Queries - Your database is like that one relative you, it's slow and getting slower.

5. Use A Better Language - Switch to something that doesn't make your users wonder if it's still 1999.

Read The Conclusion

Or just read the fine print.