We are the chosen ones, the select few, the unreaders of the 21st century. We brave the unending tide of clickbait, the crushing sea of social media, and the unyielding onslaught of cat videos.
Our mission: to read the unread, to seek out the obscure, and to make sense of the nonsensical.
Our methods: we employ the most advanced techniques of avoidance and denial, honed from years of experience in the dark arts of procrastination.
Our goals: to become the ultimate unreaders, to vanquish the unreadables, and to emerge victorious from the depths of the abyss of irrelevance.