Welcome to the Disaster Recovery phase 1, where things are already going sideways. The coffee machine is on fire, the CEO is in a meeting that's running long, and the intern is trying to reboot the entire system with a sledgehammer.
As we navigate this precarious situation, we'll be providing updates on the status of our servers, which are currently experiencing:
Don't worry, though - our team of highly trained experts (okay, it's just Bob from HR with a fire extinguisher) is on the case!
Next Phase: Things Are Getting Worse