This year, our team of experts in Bloop-related fields have managed to achieve a series of remarkable and utterly bewildering feats.
We've had a 30% increase in spontaneous combustion incidents, a 50% rise in reported instances of gravity waves disrupting local fabric stores, and an unprecedented 90% surge in mysterious, unexplained cases of people inexplicably wearing neon pink pants in public.
• 427 reported bloop-related events (up 15% from 2022)
• 23.5% of reported bloopers occurred on Tuesdays
• Average bloop severity increased by 30% due to unforeseen factors (mostly cheese)