Welcome to the Not Gonna Happen, where the only thing more abundant than disappointment is the number of things that are gonna happen.
Here's a list of things we're pretty sure are never gonna happen:
But hey, we've got some good news! Our team is currently working on a few projects that might actually happen!
Stay tuned for more updates, or better yet, just go outside and play some fetch.
Or, you know, just go back to bed.
Or, honestly, just go back to bed and forget we ever said anything.