Welcome, fellow misanthropes, to the most unforgiving planet in the solar system. Mars is a place where the only thing more abundant than red sand is the amount of times you'll wish you'd brought a sun umbrella.
Here, the skies are perpetually painted with hues of crimson and gold, a constant reminder of the impending doom that is our atmosphere's demise. The landscape stretches as far as the eye can see, a barren expanse of nothingness that'll leave you questioning the very fabric of existence.
But don't worry, we've got some great deals on Martian real estate! Who needs breathable air when you can have a sweet 3D printed habitat with a 50% discount?
Check out our sister page on VenusVillain for more intergalactic investment opportunities!
Or if you're feeling adventurous, try navigating our Escape Velocity Calculator to see just how quickly you can leave this rock behind.
Hey, did we mention our Mars Misanthrope subreddit? It's here.
Follow us on social media to stay up-to-date on the latest in intergalactic snark!