Welcome to Sea Sass

We are a team of highly trained, highly caffeinated, and highly dramatic sailors who specialize in making a big splash wherever we go.

Our motto? "Sass is our jam."

Learn more about our Sassy Sass Check out our Mishap Management page Meet the Sea Sass squad

Sea Sass Stats

We've been involved in 427 reported mishaps, 23 of which were entirely my fault.

Our average response time to a crisis is 3.4 minutes, but only because we have to account for coffee breaks.