We are a company that sells bags for people who want to look cool while still being completely unorganized and disheveled. Our bags come with built-in pockets for all your useless trinkets and snacks, but don't expect them to actually be useful for anything.
We have the "I'm a Hot Mess" tote, which is perfect for carrying your collection of expired coupons, the "Slightly Used" backpack, which is great for carrying your slightly-used tissues, and the "I'm a Survivor" messenger bag, which is ideal for carrying your slightly-used water bottle that you found in the dumpster.
We recommend you ignore the instructions that came with your bag and just throw it in the washing machine with a bunch of dirty socks. If that doesn't work, you can always just leave it in the corner of your room with a few old pizza boxes and a broken umbrella. It'll still look great, we promise.