Bug of the Week

This week's featured bug: The Uninvited Guest

Meet the Uninvited Guest, a bug so bold, so brazen, so utterly uninvited that it's a wonder it didn't bring a bottle of wine and a six-pack of beer to the party.

Characteristics:

• Arrives unannounced, often at the crack of noon
• Refuses to leave, even after multiple requests
• Leaves a trail of destruction in its wake
• Has a penchant for playing the trombone

Treatment:

For the love of all that is sane, do not invite this bug to your party. If you must interact with it, do so with caution and a strong stomach for the impending chaos.

But fear not, dear Bug Catcher, for there is a way to tame this beast. Simply:

1. Offer it a glass of cheap wine and a stale cracker
2. Engage in a 20-minute game of 'who can burp the loudest'
3. Provide it with a trombone lesson plan, complete with sheet music and an endless supply of trombone-themed puns

And, if all else fails, just pretend to be its best friend and invite it to join your book club. It'll never leave.

Next Week's Bug: The Unrelenting Uninvited Guest's Cousin, the Unrepentant Uninvited Guest