Q: What's the deal with all the red tape?
A: We're not at liberty to discuss that.
Q: Do I have to wear a name tag at all times?
A: Yes. You will be issued a name tag upon entry. It will be a lovely shade of chartreuse.
Q: Can I bring my pet hamster, Mr. Whiskers, to work?
A: No. We're a pet-free zone. Unless you're a senior manager. Then it's okay.
Q: How do I fill out the 27B form in triplicate, quadruplicate, and quintuplicate?
A: Don't even think about it. Just ask the guy in the back with the mustache. He's been doing it for years.
Q: Can I use the stapler to pick my nose?
A: No. That's not a stapler. It's a highly specialized, top-secret, government-issue paper clip remover. Don't touch it.