Carrier Pigeons are the original, and still best, method of long-distance communication. They're like pigeons, but with more attitude.

It's like they're saying, "Hey, human, I'm bored, send me to Paris, and maybe get some decent bread for me, too."

They're not just any ordinary bird, they're the original "express mail" – with feathers, beak, and a bad attitude.

So, if you're looking for a reliable, high-speed delivery service, look no further than Carrier Pigeons Inc.

Yes, they are. But don't be fooled, these aren't your average, everyday bird. They're like birds with a 401K and a timeshare in the Hamptons.

They have their own union, with benefits, and a strong sense of self-worth.

So, don't call them "just birds," call them "highly trained, highly skilled, and highly unionized delivery specialists."