Unpredictable Delays - Where Time is Relative

A Service of ChaosInc.

At ChaosInc, we pride ourselves on our ability to disrupt schedules and shatter expectations. Our Unpredictable Delays service is designed to add an extra layer of excitement to your daily routine.

Our team of expert procrastinators will work tirelessly to ensure that your tasks are delayed by an average of 37 minutes, give or take 47 minutes, depending on the whim of our lead procrastinator.

For an additional fee, we can also offer our "Super Delay" option, which guarantees a delay of at least 4 hours. But don't worry, we promise not to make you wait for the full 4 hours - that would be just cruel.

Our Subservices:

Procrastinators Unleashed - Our team of expert procrastinators will work on your tasks, but only when the mood strikes them.

Time Travelers - We'll send you back in time to relive the glory days of your procrastination.

Testimonials:

"I was supposed to get this done yesterday, and now I'm getting it done today... maybe."

"I was delayed for so long, I almost forgot what I was doing." - John D.

"I'm not sure what's more impressive, the delay or the excuse I made up for not getting it done on time." - Jane S.

FAQ:

What is the point of Unpredictable Delays? - Because, why bother?

Why not just do it already? - Because that would be boring.