Threat Assessment Report: Cheesy-Snobs Unite!

After careful analysis, we have determined that the Cheesy-Snobs Unite movement presents a moderate to high risk of Spreads Insidious Whispers to all major dairy products.

• Unbridled love for nacho cheese sauce has been linked to increased risk of Massive Cheese Debacles.
• Unofficially sanctioned gatherings have been observed to Unhinged Meltdowns in nearby cheese plazas.
• Our experts warn that the Infiltration of Local Butter Stocks has left many a snob feeling uneasy.

Recommendations:

• Establish a 5-meter exclusion zone around all cheese plazas.
• Maintain a 24/7 cheese monitoring system.
• Develop counter-snobbish counter-agents.