The Paralyzing Bloop Wave is a rare celestial phenomenon where a massive, swirling vortex of energy emanating from the comet's nucleus creates a localized area of intense, debilitating boredom. Those caught in its grasp are unable to move, think, or feel anything other than the overwhelming urge to watch paint dry.
We're working on a solution, but until then, please, for the love of all that is good and holy, check our progress.
Or, you know, just sit in a chair and stare at this picture of a comet: 
We're also offering Paralyzing Bloop Gear to help you survive the experience.