Welcome to the Unearned Awards, where the only thing more impressive than your lack of achievement is your ability to show up!

Presented by the prestigious Board of Non-Contributors

THE "I meant to do that eventually" Award

Given to individuals who have consistently put off tasks until the very last minute, only to have it turn out fine (but not really great)

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THE "I was just about to" Award

Given to those who have mastered the art of saying "I was just about to" in response to every criticism or inquiry, effectively dodging accountability and responsibility

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