2023's Best Competition Ever: Top 3 Results!

And the winner of the Golden Scepter is:

3rd Place: Zorgle McSnazz

Zorgle McSnazz, a 32-year-old professional hammock tester from the planet Zorgon, took the bronze medal home with his daring display of napping techniques.

Here's what the judges had to say:

"Zorgle's ability to sleep with his eyes open and still maintain a 4.5/5 rating on Amazon is truly inspiring." - Judge #3, Dr. Emily P. Snore

Stay tuned for next year's competition, where the stakes will be higher and the prizes will be... actually, they will probably still be a Golden Scepter and a year's supply of coffee.

Mark your calendar for the 2024 competition!