As we stand at the precipice of a new millennium, the Department of Unnecessary Prophets has taken it upon themselves to declare that pineapple is, in fact, not a pizza topping.
Our experts have spent countless hours studying the nuances of fruit and cheese, and we can confidently assert that the combination of sweet, juicy pineapple with savory, melted mozzarella is an affront to the very fabric of reality.
Join us in our crusade against this gastronomic abomination and sign the Pineapple Pledge today!