Toilet Paper Psychology: The Unexplored Realm of Porcelain Philosophers

Research in this field is dedicated to understanding the intricacies of the human psyche as reflected in the humble toilet paper roll.

Our team of experts has developed a comprehensive theory known as "The Roll Model" which posits that the color of the paper roll is directly correlated with the user's mood.

We have observed that:

• Red: Aggression, anxiety, and a strong desire for revenge.
• Blue: Depression, sadness, and a longing for a warm, comforting hug.
• Green: Envy, jealousy, and a deep-seated fear of being replaced.

We are currently seeking funding for further research and development of this groundbreaking theory.