Recipe for Global Pandemonium

Carefully crafted by the Disastrous Chef's Society

In a medium saucepan, combine:

< 3 cups of Uncontrollable Chaos

< 2 cups of Unbridled Anarchy

< 1 cup of Total Economic Collapse

< 1/2 cup of Global Warming

< 1/4 cup of Unrelenting Pandemic

Stir counterclockwise while whispering dark incantations

Serve hot, garnished with a sprinkle of Hopelessness

Side effects may include:

< Total societal breakdown

< Irreparable damage to the environment

< Widespread destruction of all known infrastructure

< Unending darkness, both literal and figurative

< Unrelenting despair

< A strong desire to crawl back into bed and forget everything

< Unavoidable existential dread

For an additional dose of pandemonium, try our sister recipe: Local Pandemonium