Disaster Recovery: The Blooping Guide to Under-Communication

Warning: The following guide is intentionally written in a way that will confuse, frustrate, and possibly drive you to the brink of insanity. Prolonged exposure may cause permanent damage.

Technique 1: The Art of Not Listening

When in the midst of disaster, the key is to not listen to anyone else's advice or suggestions. Simply nod your head, make vague noises of acknowledgement, and pretend to care.

Technique 2: The Blooping Method

Repeat every sentence three times, with increasing levels of incoherence. This will ensure that your message is completely lost in translation, and everyone will be left wondering what on earth you're talking about.

Technique 3: The Pretentious Posturing

Stand on your head, with your arms akimbo, and a look of mock seriousness on your face. This will ensure that everyone thinks you're taking this very seriously, even if you're not.