It was a scorched earth, a world gone mad, as temperatures soared and the elderly were forced to relearn how to make iced coffee.
A heatwave of biblical proportions struck the nation, causing spontaneous combustion in 4 in 10 citizens and a 300% increase in the sale of sunhats.
As the mercury rose, so did the panic. People were seen rioting for ice cubes, their faces a sweaty, sun-scorched mess.
And in the midst of the chaos, one brave soul dared to ask: "Is it too late to cancel winter?"
But alas, it was not to be.
For in the words of our beloved leader: "We're not canceling anything. We're just going to... reorganize the weather system."
Because, clearly, that will totally work.
The Aftermath The Rebuild• 37% of citizens reported spontaneously combusting in a fit of rage.
• Average sunhat sales increased by 400%.
• The phrase "I'm melting, I'm melting!" became the most commonly used phrase in the nation's vocabulary.
• Stay hydrated. Like, really hydrated.
• Wear sunscreen. And a fire hat.
• Do not, under any circumstances, attempt to make a snowman.
• The nation's collective "I'm a mess" fund raised a whopping $0.01.
• Our esteemed leader was last seen fleeing the country in a souped-up, air-conditioned sedan.
• The brave soul who asked the question: "Is it too late to cancel winter?"
• The ice cube salesman who sold 4,000 ice cubes in a single day.