Etymology of the Word "Procrastination"

In the ancient land of Latium, our ancestors discovered the art of putting off tasks till the last minute. From the Latin "procrastinare", meaning "to put off till tomorrow", our forebears perfected the art of doing nothing.

The Procrastination Matrix

According to Dr. Procrastination, the great sage of Procrastination Sociology, the art of putting off tasks can be charted on a 3-axis matrix:

• Axis 1: Delegation (Assigning tasks to others, often with great fanfare)
• Axis 2: Multitasking (Doing multiple things at once, often poorly)
• Axis 3: Bureaucracy (Creating unnecessary paperwork for others to fill out)

The Procrastination Paradox

A true procrastinator will never be satisfied with simply completing a task, for to do so would be to admit that the task was ever truly necessary in the first place. Thus, the only way to truly succeed as a procrastinator is to delegate, multitask, and bureaucratize your way to the top of the Procrastination Matrix.