Chapter 1: The Fundamentals of Utter Ridiculousness

Welcome, reader, to Dr. Pete's Guide to Absurdity. In this esteemed tome, we will delve into the very basics of being utterly, mind-bogglingly, and completely absurd.

But before we begin, let us first establish a few ground rules:

• Rule 1: Absurdity is not just a state of mind, it's a lifestyle.
• Rule 2: Never, ever, ever trust a mime with a mullet.
• Rule 3: In the face of absurdity, always, always, always wear a brightly colored jumpsuit.

Now, let us proceed with the first lesson:

Lesson 1: The Art of Purposefully Confusing a Simple Question

As we all know, the key to achieving true absurdity is the ability to confuse a simple question into a complex and convoluted mess of a response.