Assembly Instructions for the Scream-A-Tron-3000

Step 1: Unpacking the Box of Doom

WARNING: Do not attempt to open the box until you have read and understood the following instructions. Failure to do so may result in spontaneous combustion, spontaneous human combustion, or other spontaneous events.

• Remove the box from the shipping container, taking note of the 37 warning labels and 14 hazard signs.
• Carefully lift the top flap, using a pair of gloves and a fireproofing blanket.
• Peel back the layers of packing material, revealing the contents within.

Now that you've reached this point, you're probably wondering why you even bothered. Congratulations, you're halfway to madness!

Continue to Step 2: Disassembling the User

Or, if you're feeling overwhelmed, abandon ship and run away.