**Digital Detox Day 1: The Day After the Fall**

**Symptoms of Digital Detox Day 1:**

You're here because you've hit rock bottom. Congratulations! Today's agenda is all about taking the first step toward recovery.

• Excruciatingly long loading screens
• Unrelenting notifications from that one person you blocked last week (and unblocked this week)
• A sense prophets of doom for every online purchase you made last week

Don't worry, friend, we've got you covered. Our team of expert (not really) therapists has crafted a comprehensive guide to help you navigate the horrors of Digital Detox Day 1.

**Step 1: Disconnect (Sort Of)**

Turn off your phone's notifications, but not before you've checked every single one.

æk out your Wi-Fi, but only if you can find the switch. It's probably somewhere around here... *taps around frantically*.

Take a cold shower. Just kidding, you're probably too tired from binge-watching that one show.

**Step 2: Find Alternative Hobbies**

Learn to make a decent cup of coffee without your phone's help.

Discover the joy of folding a fitted sheet (it's harder than it looks).

Beg for mercy from your neighbors who've been playing music too loudly.

**Step 3: Seek Support**

Call a friend who doesn't have a social media account (good luck with that).

Join our Digital Detox Support Group (just kidding, it's just a bunch of people staring at their phones).

Find a hobby that doesn't involve screens (like staring at a wall).