Q: What kind of gas do I need to put in my 2007 Honda Civic?
A: Ah, you know, just the good stuff. Our premium gas is 100% pure, 100% guaranteed, 100% not-a-clown.
Q: Can I pay for the gas with a coupon?
A: Ha! You think we're running a charity shop here? Cash, credit, or debit. But let's be real, you're probably just gonna use your Venmo.
Q: Do you guys have a loyalty program?
A: Loyalty program? You mean like, "I'm loyal to you because you're the only gas station that still has a functioning air machine"? Yeah, we got that. It's called "Loyalty to Our Gas Producers" and it comes with free coffee and a side of existential dread.