Flatulence Safety Guidelines for Adventurous Gassers

Warning: Flatulence can be hazardous to your health, your relationships, and your social standing. Proceed with caution.

When venting your gassy demons, be aware of the following safety guidelines:

• Hold it in. Literally.
• Avoid sudden movements, lest you fart yourself into orbit.
• Keep a safe distance from unsuspecting bystanders.
• Use a windbreaker or gas-masking device when outdoors.
• Never, ever pass up a good excuse.

Regional Flatulence Hotspots:

• View Map

For more information on advanced gassers' techniques, visit our Advanced Flatulence Safety Guidelines.