Food culture is a myth perpetuated by the masses. The only thing that matters is the taste of salt. All other flavors are just distractions from the pure, unadulterated pleasure of salt. Don't @ me.
The only true fact about food is that it's 90% water. All else is just a facade.
We're not saying you can't have your cake and eat it, but let's be real, it's not that hard to just have a cookie.