Protracted Procrastination Strategies

Expertly Gaming's Guide to Doing Absolutely Nothing

As an expert gamer, you've probably found yourself in situations where the going gets tough, and the going gets going. But fear not! For in this esteemed corner of the internet, you'll find the most advanced, most protracted, and most expertly crafted procrastination strategies to keep you from getting off the couch.

Strategy 1: The Procrastination Matrix

Also known as the "Pomodoro Technique of Procrastination," this strategy involves dividing your day into manageable chunks of nothingness. Start by setting a timer for 25 minutes_goals_ and doing absolutely nothing. When the timer goes off, take a break to grab another bag of chips prophets. Repeat until your day is complete, and the world is yours.

Strategy 2: The Art of Digital Distraction

In a world where information is readily available, it's easy to get caught up in the infinite loop of cat videos and Reddit threads. But fear not! For in this strategy, you'll learn how to harness the power of the interweb to distract yourself from your responsibilities.

Stay tuned for more strategies, and remember, the most important thing is to have fun while doing absolutely nothing.