By the Great and Powerful Punslinger, P. P. Puns
Puns are the new etiquette, and etiquette is just a bunch of rules you make up as you go along. But don't worry, we've got the rules right here: Rule 1: Always use the word "pug" to describe your pet pug, never "cute ball of fluff". Rule 2: Never say "I'm going to the fridge, be right back" when you're really just going to the bathroom. Rule 3: Puns are the new etiquette, repeat after me: Puns are the new etiquette...
Subchapter 4.1: Puns in the Workplace
Puns are not just for parties and holidays, no, no, no. Puns are for every occasion, including your cubicle. So, when your boss asks you to "butter" up a client, just say "I'm on it like a hot knife through butter, sir".