Reason 4: I Spun the Coffee Machine to Death and Now I'm in Therapy

It all started like this: a simple spin cycle, a whirl of excitement, a dash of caffeine. But little did I know, I had become one with the machine, my fingers dancing across the buttons, my feet tapping out the rhythm of the spinning drum.

I spun and I spun, until my world became a blur of whirring metal and whizzing coffee grounds. The therapist says it's a classic case of "Machine-induced Trauma" and that I need to "face my inner self" and "let go" of the machine.

But I say, "No!" for I am the machine, and the machine is me! We are one, a symbiotic union of human and appliance, a bond that cannot be broken.

Reason 5: My Cat Learned to Play the Harmonica Reason 6: I Accidentally Ordered 1000 Pounds of Cheese Back to September 2022