Welcome to the most thrilling and entertaining database disaster report you'll ever read! Today's top bloopers include:
1. Query Bloopers: A query that took 3 hours to run, because, you know, 3 million rows of data are a lot, right?
2. Data Bloopers: We're not saying the data is dirty, but our ETL process is clearly a mess.
3. Schema Bloopers: Our schema is so bad, it's been known to make the database administrators cry.
Stay vigilant, developers! These bloopers are a ticking time bomb, just waiting to bring down your entire system.