Predestination Protection - Time Travel Insurance

We're not actually selling insurance, but we do offer a 100% guarantee that the apocalypse will happen exactly as you see it in the movies. Don't worry, we've got you covered.

How it works:

• Choose your predestined outcome
• Select your risk factor (0-100)
• Pay your premium (in gold coins)
• Wait for the inevitable

Don't like the odds? Try our sister company, "Predestiny Plus" for an extra 20% off!

Free Will Coverage - Because who needs free will, anyway?

Side effects of Predestination Protection may include:

• Loss of autonomy
• Mildly existential dread
• Regret (in hindsight)

Don't say we didn't warn you.