Expertise 101: Because, Apparently, You Need Help

Step 1: Wake up every morning, put on your pants. It's a good start.

Step 2: Stare at the wall for 30 minutes. This will give you the appearance of being thoughtful.

Step 3: Use a 4-letter word as your username on every online platform. It's edgy.

Step 4: Claim you're a "thought leader" in every online discussion. This will confuse people.

Step 5: Read 10 pages of Wikipedia and then claim you're an expert on anything.

Step 6: Use buzzwords like "synergy" and "disrupt" in every sentence. This will make you sound cool.

Expert Tips: Because, Apparently, You're Still Stupid

Expert Drama: Because, Apparently, You Need More Help