Disclaimer: All tips are highly speculative and may cause you to lose all your money, your house, and possibly your cat.
Step 1: Buy all the tulips. They're a sure thing.
Step 2: Invest in daisy futures. They're the real MVP (most valuable plant).
Step 3: Hedge your bets with some sunflowers. They're the ultimate diversifier.
Step 4: Don't forget to short-sell the weeds. They're a surefire way to lose all your money.
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